THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS
"I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Nothing else matters: not the mortgage, not the store, not my team and all their bullshit. For those ten seconds or less, I'm free."
Where it all began. Still one of the best films in the series yet also the least ambitious. This is when we first welcomed DOM, Brian and co into our lives and our hearts.
Also, NOS.
2 FAST 2 FURIOUS
"Damn! Where'd ya'll confiscate these rims from, man?"
The worst in the series, I think. I can't remember anything that happened in this one even after watching the trailer. It had the two least fastest least furiousest characters from the first teaming up to sort something out. Where's DOM?!
THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS: TOKYO DRIFT
"Life's simple, you make choices and you don't look back."
This one was quite interesting actually because of the whole culture shock angle. A very ugly boring white man goes to TOKYO, JAPAN and drifts into the street racing scene. As Roger Ebert said, Tokyo Drift is "more observant than we expect" and "the story [is] about something more than fast cars". An improvement on the previous entry despite the lack of DOM.... or DOES it lack DOM?! Stay tuned after the credits to find out!
FAST & FURIOUS
"I'm sorry too, Brian. I'm so sorry that you had to come into my home and pretend to love me. I'm so sorry you ripped my family apart. I'm very sorry that that was hard for you."
This was a much-welcomed 'reboot' of the franchise that saw the return of DOM, Brian and the others. The first F&F film I saw, and at the time I hoped it would be my last. As I looked out onto the crowds of hundreds of people enjoying themselves I wondered if I would ever be able to connect with the rest of humanity or if the rest of my life would be lived behind the triple-glazed glass of my vehicular isolation.
Luckily, I listened to the reviews for the next entry and failed to miss
FAST FIVE
"Aright listen up! The guys we're after are professional runners. They like speed and are guaranteed to go down the hardest possible way so make sure you've got your thunderwear on. We find 'em we take 'em as a team and we bring 'em back. And above all else we don't ever, ever let them get into cars."
This was when the franchise really started to get notice from critics. It's also when it started making serious money, breaking the $600m international box office barrier for the first time. It's got a TRAIN HEIST, a chase scene in a BRAZIL type place, DWAYNE THE ROCK JOHNSON, a RAMPAGE through the streets of Rio with a giant safe tethered to two FAST CARS, and DWAYNE THE ROCK JOHNSON fighting VIN DIESEL. This become an action adventure classic the day it was released. Also, everyone is really sweaty in this one. The only flaw here is that DWAYNE THE ROCK JOHNSON's character is named after my music teacher from year six. Speaking of six...
FAST AND FURIOUS 6
A slight step down from 5, maybe only because we'd already been blown away by its complexity and ambition. This entry has some great stuff though, like a CAR WITH A RAMP ON IT THAT FLIPS OTHER CARS, a NEVER ENDING AIRPORT RUNWAY and DOM HEADBUTTING A MAN WHILE FLYING. Letty's amnesia plotline gave the series some much needed emotional heft. Also, DWAYNE THE ROCK JOHNSON. But after everything seemed to be going right for the Fast Family, suddenly everything went so, so wrong...
~ Paul Walker 1973 - 2013 ~
Paul tragically died in November 2013 in a car accident. From what I hear he was a very nice man whose passions lay not in acting but in marine biology, ju-jitsu, and possibly his several dogs. Nevertheless, he will be sorely missed after his final appearance in...
FURIOUS 7
"One last ride..."
One wonders if this will be the film to join inferior dreck like Batman, Lord of the Rings and Skyfall among the pantheon of $1bn international box office earners. But we must remember what truly matters in this world... to quote Fast 6:
"Father thank you for the gathering of friends, Father we give thanks for all the choices we've made because that's what makes us who we are, let us forever cherish the loved ones we've lost along the way; thank you for the little angel, the newest addition to our family, thank you for bringing Letty home, and most of all thank you for fast cars!"
