So there was this one time when our dog was a puppy and had made a mess so I had to clean it up. I picked the dog poop up with toilet paper and started heading for the bathroom.

I never used to feel sick when doing such a thing, but that day for some reason, I did.

Maybe it was the warmth that I felt through the paper or the unusual softness of the poop or maybe the smell that suddenly triggered the throw-up reflex in my stomach, but in any case, I started running towards the toilet with the poop-paper wad still in my hand.

As I got into the toilet, I couldn't hold it in anymore and puke filled my mouth. As if this wasn't bad enough, I suddenly had a bad urge to cough, which led to me shotgunning our whole toilet with puke.

The place then smelled of puke and shit and I had to clean even more.

DNR

Only 3 more posts xx

today I cycled my bike through dog shit and then I thought if I just cycled a bit more it would come off but no it stuck to the tyres like glue and then leaves and grass just glued and stacked on top of the shit

so I took it round the back under the garden tap and used an old brush but now I had dog shit in my hands and then the water just poured the dilute shit all over my shoes and jeans

But you didn't throw up so you lose.

Also, knowing you, you probably aimed for the dog poop and wished for all this to happen.