Not trolling here Birdy, but... have you ever been raped?

I suspect if you had, or if you were one of the 1 in 4 women who has been the victim of sexual assault (nb: not necessarily, but including, rape), then you would have much more of a problem with it.

As men, we honestly have so little idea how much privilege we have when it comes to our place in society. Freedom from the fear of sexual violence is one of the most invisible privileges we have*. For a women, it's entirely different.

We can use sexual language in almost any context and not really appreciate the power of those words, the impact they have on others.

And if I'm wrong, then I apologise, you've a stronger mind than most.

*I generalise, because I'm sure there are certain environments where the fear of sexual violence is a very real and very present thing for certain groups of men too, but in terms of scale, it's a tiny tiny tiny proportion.

Thanks for that link kiss kiss was interesting, I watched a few of her other videos.

This thread has moved mainly toward the use of one word but the original post is about sexual harassment in the gaming community. I think the underlying problems are in society as a whole and the that internet's ability to provide some kind of anonymity really highlights this.

It does seem like the closer we get to equality in any sense that there is a backlash claim of equality has already been reach so that those against it can maintain the inequality and often create distorted caricatures or token members in popular media in order to convince the general public; that equality already exists and to stop being a needless activist.

There are 192 countries in the UN members list with countless other states and countries not listed, the internet has a global share of opinions and societal norms even if one or two get it right (don't think any have yet btw) there are still hundreds of other nations and/or governments to potentially corrupt the internet not to mention the free thinking minds of the billions. An issue I don't think will ever be truly solved.

Hopefully this is my last post in this thread as I think have said all I can really.
And whilst I can't fix the rest of the world I hope everyone here works by the Golden rule of ethics and morality "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"

I could probably ask you the same question. A big problem with the whole discussion is that there's not much research about the subject at all, why rape affects the mind as it does and how you can best help or perhaps even prevent depression, anxiety and so forth.

We also need to consider the fact what rape is as it's mighty possible that the numbers are exaggerated and vice versa in some countries due to definitions varying in the law. For example, if a woman is drunk and agrees to have sex with a man, is it rape? In some instances, that is a yes.

It might be worth considering if rape would horrify and destroy a person as much as it can do today if we had different values when it comes to sex and our view of the sexes. Something I do know for sure is that women are commonly seen as innocent, weak and in need of protection, mostly subconsciously. Essentially, I am basically thinking that that society's views and convictions plays some part in how heavily it impacts a person. Men are still much more free when it comes to their sexuality than females are.

Of course, it's very much likely that rape as a traumatizing event no matter what we do but I would at least want to see if there is a possibility of making it less worse by changing the mindset of people in general.

I've been put trough a lot of abuse in life myself and crushed mentally... And yet I preserve and strive. I am curious as to why and how rape, that usually is a one time thing that last for a short amount of time in most cases, can have such a heavy impact on a person's psyche, enough to even make the mere mention of the word "Rape" cause them anguish... as opposed to a person going trough mental anguish trough several years. We could probably help victims much better if we explored this and challenged our mindsets.

And perhaps we should even consider if victims even care what words are used as long as it's not an insult directed at them? Does a majority of the victims really care about rape being used as a word for "Owned" and whatnot? Context can matter a great deal after all.

Oh, by the way, there has been studies showing that male rape victims are more common than you think.

TL;DR

Bluh bluh I think context is what truly matters rather than the use of the word itself and that we should perhaps check into if the view on sex and women today might play a part in the mental anguish.

Do you think I would answer yes if I had been?

Totally get your point Sarge just cant whole heartedly agree as words are just words in the end, but this is my take on how I think people should take it.

Not everyone (most men) has such a degree of empathy as you do perhaps, which is why context i think is a good stoppping place in terms of policing it.

Though if everyone knew those statistics perhaps they would be a little more considerate in their language but then society isnt as educated on this as we'd like it to b.

In hindsight it was a pretty crass question.. so I do apologise for that. I have no idea what you or anyone else has been through so it wasn't very fair to 'call you out' so to speak.

I think I'm also in danger of 'speaking for the women', which is something that gets women pissed off..

Education is important, it's the most important thing ever imo. But Mehby's last post kinda covers it for me - Treat everyone as you want to be treated yourself.

Personally I go for Bill & Teds 'Be Excellent to One Another'..

Make sure to watch it trough. I THINk I agree with him so far, I've only seen one of her videos so far, but he was very much right on the flaws when it comes to her "Straw feminist" video. Can't say that it bodes well if all he says is true.

I'm watching it as I write this..

He's putting so many words into her mouth that it's basically just ad hominen attacks in advance.. what a knee jerk reactive peice of trash.

The number of times he's said 'She probably didn't even...'.

Aaand he's just called her stupid.

Aaaand, he doesn't get Kickstarter.

His rant is so weak.

ooh.. accusation that she's a criminal! Nice.

Oh, and she *is* a victim of some of the dreadful sexist abuse that the gaming 'sub culture' as he calls it.

I'd say he makes a handful of good points, swallowed up by his basically not getting it. Fail.

Considering her previous videos that DOES lack research and actual viewpoints from other angles, is it REALLY that strange for anyone to assume that she will do the same with this upcoming video?

And "Victim" in this case CAN be debated when you spam the kickstarter page on 4chan. It's very much like being black and then going to a KKK meeting to throw rocks at them. Yes, she's technically a victim but it's very much brought upon herself. He does say that there is a big problem in the gaming community and that there IS a subculture within the gamer community that is utterly sexistic and despicable... And someone on her side went ahead and poked RIGHT AT THE BEEHIVE.

The main problem lies mainly with a lack of deeper research in her videos from what I can tell. Oh, she does some research but it seems that it lacks depth and perspective from what I can see.

Look, the intention itself is nice but the actual work put into it can be questioned here sadly and we do have to wonder, what will she do with the money not used in the project? Heck, we could even be a bit paranoid and ask ourselves, was the spamming of the kickstarter page on 4chan done with the purpose to create drama and attention?

Who knows? I do hope it'll be good, the idea itself can be interesting although (As he did point out) something obvious. Still, going in depth with it can be interesting though I doubt it will actually change much. It would probably be better to focus on the subcultures for that.

Its like, she says, "Yo, I want to make a thing about sexism in games" and then a bunch of bros all cry out in harmony, "get back in the kitchen n make me a sandvich". QUE EEE FUCKIN DEE MUCH?

Will her project be any good? Idk, does it really matter? Its not as if the whole argument pivots on the success of her project.

As for words. The word rape it has a specific meaning, and while we could of course dilute its strength through casual usage do we really want to? Almost all swears gain their impact from using a potent word improperly. Thats fine, I don't mind if every other word is fuck because fucking isn't an abhorrent act, its just not something you do in front of your parents. Rape is abhorrent, to milk the word for impact seems crass.